Wednesday, April 30, 2025

April 21, 2025 Issue

The best line in this week’s anemic issue is Josh Lieb’s description of the pumpernickel bagel: 

The king. Strong flavor, but not too strong. Dances with, rather than fights against, the cream cheese and the lox. (Or whitefish, if that’s your thing. I don’t judge.)

His note on the blueberry bagel is pretty good, too:

O.K., you’ve been alive for a thousand years. You were cursed by God after stepping on a butterfly or something. You’ve seen multiple generations of your descendants grow up and live and die, painfully. You watched Rome burn. You made love to Mona Lisa. You killed Kennedy. There is nothing in this world your jaded senses haven’t experienced and become weary of. Finally, you’ve come to this.

That bit about making love to Mona Lisa made me smile. 

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